no words

Posted on December 30, 2008 by neerjakothari — 1 Comment

So here I am trying to write a statement of purpose… and well a week down I still don’t have anything …nothing…nada…zilch…

So I’ve tried a lot of things… I’ve tried listening to my inner voice and I’ve tried listening to the outer voice… I have thought n thought… I’ve shut out all kinds of sounds and tried listening real hard to the voice from inside (they say we all have one an inner voice … I think mine is of my parents saying “No” to everything… coz I usually always mess up things) so that’s not really helping me much. I tried listening to some inspiration music so Whitney sang “One moment in time”. I tried listening to soft sad low key music so “hallelujah “: that just got down right depressive… so I switched to instrumental stuff… Kenny G came and played Havana and it was way tooo peppy! I could hear my thoughts jingling. So I switched to the soundtrack from Amelie…Very niceee… but still no words…

So then what else! I slept for two days!

But the problem with that was… things were fantastic when I was asleep, but now I am awake and I don’t have more than a few wish wash ideas and a start up line which was also taken from something I wrote a few weeks back…

The long breaks from the breaks taken to think about my purpose are very taxing on my weight… Coz each break means I run to the refrigerator and come back to my room loaded with a big chunk of marble cake.

No words yet

I tried watching a movie coz I’m a hug movie buff and I thought that will relax me and then I can go back to writing a bit. Well let me say the movie didn’t help…I don’t even remember what I saw anymore. I actually probably saw 5 movies put together. A bit from each channel!

Meditating didn’t help much either… it made be very peacefully and calmly feel more sleepy.

So I thought I had a very heavy head with all the thinking of thinking of thoughts. I went n oiled my head. Grandma says oiling my head will help me relax and cool down (though I am pretty cooled down … since its cold being winter n all). Anyways that was some three hours ago, after which iv seen an hour of CSI investigations and played two rounds of online scrabble…and now I have all this written up but this cannot go to colleges as an artists statement.

So was oiling the hair that great an idea?? Maybe not…never mind…there’s always that tomorrow which comes tomorrow and well then I’ll get to shampoo my hair! And then maybe just maybe I will be able to write something worthwhile

I shall write a bit more later on whether I was able to write anything or not… right now its time to watch an episode of sex and the city and if after the Carrie- isms I get down to some work …then… yippee … if not ..Well there’s that tomorrow after the shampoo.

Ps:: I think I need a haircut and soooon !!! Maybe it’s all that bad hair which is not letting the thoughts filter through. Hmmm yeah that’s it.